The Better Refuge

    In the crazy of Momming, sometimes ya just want to take a break. To sit down. In silence. And scroll. Because it literally takes no energy. It is mindless. It's also fun to see what's going on with people and feel like I'm not missing out on anything. Last year I found myself waiting for those breaks. Scheduling them even or just peeing for like 10 minutes, when it could have been 10 seconds. If you're a mom, you get it. 2020 in general was a year of wanting to keep up with the latest and see how everyone was handling it all or what words of encouragement some of my fave follows had to say. I spent a lot of time looking for those breaks. But never once after scrolling on facebook or instagram did I say, "Wow. Now I am refueled and ready to be a great wife, mom, and friend." Typically the time spent was a little longer than I intended and left me feeling drained, lazy, and regretful that I'd wasted my time. Then add in all the politics of the year, I found my mind racing listening to 100 people's opinions while simultaneously processing my own. 

    I took a few short social media breaks last year. I had so many conversations with Jonathan about creating healthy boundaries with it- "Maybe I'll just keep it logged out so then every time I want to get on it, I'll have to type in my password." That worked until I was logging in often enough that it was just a waste of time to log out. "Maybe I'll just have certain times of day that I check it and then I won't be on it any other time." That worked until it didn't. As I shared in previous posts, I always want to be moving forward, to be growing, to be looking more like Christ, and part of that process for me is asking a lot of introspective questions. One of those questions is, "What is the biggest hindrance to my relationship with Christ right now?" And for me, last year, it was wasting time on social media and often taking refuge in that over taking refuge in God. The Better Refuge. Not only was it a temptation to waste time on, it was also a temptation from being fully present as a wife and mom. So many times this year, I have identified my relationship with social media as a hindrance to me living out who I want to be and who God has called me to be. Because where you invest your time is where you invest your life. And I was investing too much of my life (time, energy, and thoughts) to social media. So because our word for the year is "stewardship" and because my heart is to be a more faithful steward of the gifts God has given me, I felt both convicted and confident in letting go of the identified hindrance. And as January's focus is on the stewardship of time, I have been increasingly grateful that God led me in that way. Because it is no longer competing for my time/heart. 

    So why did I not give up sooner despite conviction through last year? Here is why: social media can be an incredible tool to encourage people and share the gospel. It can also be a place to learn, be challenged, and see some really really cute babies. It is morally neutral and there is nothing wrong in and of itself with having it. But it is a ground for temptation. For some that may be comparison, envy, insecurity, materialism, or wasting time. Even though my heart was to steward it well, it continually came up in my time with God as an obstacle to growth and something I needed to let go of. 

    So I brought it up with Jonathan again and asked what he thought as I shared the pros/cons as well as my list of reasons why I really felt like I couldn't let it go. And that is when I knew. If there is any thing you feel like you can't let go of, that may be a good sign you should. He encouraged me and also willingly joined. And leading up to the New Year, although I was increasingly disengaging social media, I was starting to get really anxious. I thought I would be bummed not seeing all the pics, hearing all the new news, and not getting to share any of my own as though I needed to be able to say, "Hey, I'm here and I've got kids and we're doing stuff." And here I am, a few weeks into 2021 and it has been so good to let it go.  To silence the voices and ads. To be more present. And to rest in The Better Refuge. I have had zero anxiety about it since, zero temptation to spend time on it, and overall, I am confident I have stewarded my time more faithfully than I was before. And I  hope this year to grow in such a way that I can steward and engage with social media better in the future but for now, I am embracing this break.

     Now I will ask you, what is the biggest hindrance to your relationship with Christ right now? Or to being the person you want to be? Identify it and in faithfulness, let it go. "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose on part of of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut if off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose on part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." -Jesus (matt 5:29-30)

Making it matter,

Laura Jones 

What's the Word?

     At the end of every year I ask Jonathan what his first word of the next year is going to be. And every year he rolls his eyes. I put a lot of thought into what the first word I usher in the New Year with. It's been something I've done since 7th grade, when my first word was my crush's name. You're likely rolling your eyes now too. When we count down the seconds to midnight on New Years Eve, I am intentionally silent, then when midnight hits, I utter my word, often quietly so people aren't like, "Why did you just say 'Satisfied?'" which was, by the way, my first word of 2020. I like choosing a word for the year, and particularly setting an intention for the year. My heart behind the word satisfied was the desire to be fully satisfied in Christ, to seek out and live out what that meant. If ever there was a year to learn such a thing, 2020 was it because it stripped away most things that we look to for satisfaction. 2020 brought chaos, change, "unprecedented times", fear, loneliness, distance. But God was the same. He is the same. And for that I am grateful. I think I'll spend my whole life seeking out what it means and how to more fully live out satisfaction in Christ, but last year was a growing year in that. 

    And now it's a new year. 2021. And I had already picked my word, and shared it with Jonathan. So then it became our word. And at midnight I spoke that word. And so did he. I was amazed because most years he says something anticlimactic just to playfully mock my intentionality. But this year he joined me because it really is the word on both of our hearts. The word that will set our focus and intention for this year. And the word is stewardship. (Now you see why I whisper the word. LOL) One thing that last year exposed in me was a lack of intentionality in stewarding: my time, my thoughts, my money, my emotions, the list goes on. Part of the  problem is the repeated word in that last sentence: "MY". Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it..." This past year I found myself clinging to all the things in hopes of keeping some type of norm/comfort. We moved away, added a third child, and the craziness of the world invited a certain kinda cling-to-MY-stuff mentality. But I was gently reminded that nothing I have is actually mine; it is simply given to me by God to steward for His glory. There is a difference in responsibility when you are stewarding the belongings of another. The question isn't "What do I want to do?" but rather, "What would He have me do?" Romans 11:36 says, "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for His glory." The marriage, kids, body, home, finances, time, health, mind, spirit. His. I am humbled that God has entrusted me with so many good gifts. This year I will increasingly ask, "How does God want me to steward..." and fill in the blank. 

    Every year Jonathan and I  set goals. They are usually arranged topically by spiritual goals, physical goals, financial goals, etc. But this year we are focusing each month on a different thing God has entrusted us with and setting goals that encourage better stewardship. For example, January's focus is TIME and our question is "How does God want us to spend the time He has given us?" A few of our January goals are to not sleep in past 7AM all month, to be in the Word each day, and to create/stick to a more structured schedule. Other months we will focus on gospel stewardship, marriage stewardship, children stewardship, financial stewardship, body stewardship, and home stewardship--with each one having its own set of goals. Ultimately, all of the goals reflect our calling: to know God and to make Him known. I hope this encourages you to seek God more this year and consider the many good gifts He has entrusted you with and how He would have you steward them. Next on the blog I'll share about the #1 hindrance in stewardship for me, the reasons I cut it out of my life, and how it's going so far. See ya soon!

Making it matter, 

Laura Jones

Making It Matter

     I am someone who does not like to coast. I don't want my marriage, motherhood, or life to be on auto pilot. I like to strategize. I want to always be growing, always be engaging in life. Going through the motions without intentionality, energy, or a goal in mind is a waste of time. I firmly believe everything can matter. Sweeping the floors, wiping snotty noses, changing diapers, even the most mundane of tasks can matter. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Do you notice that it uses something super basic as an example? It doesn't say, "So whether you are doing surgery or are CEO of your company..." although those would fall in the "whatever you do" category. It literally says whether you EAT or DRINK, do it for God's glory. Which every human mindlessly does every day. It's routine. It's necessary for living. But to engage in such a way that it brings glory to God, to be that intentional that sipping your water MATTERS. That is the kind of living I am after. 

    Whether I am at church worshipping the Lord or I am in the living room folding three baskets of laundry, I desire to engage in such a way that it brings God glory, and therefore matters. This desire especially impacts the way I mom my kids. If I merely focus on surviving the day or on keeping them alive or just on getting to bed time, I miss out on so much opportunity to maximize my influence on them in a way that matters. But when I consider nursing my baby or picking her up when she's crying to be the blueprint of how her heart one day experiences God--that He will take care of her, that He is present for her, and that He can be trusted--it radically impacts how I think of my job as "Mom." When I consider that marriage is to be an illumination of the gospel and an illustration of Christ's love, it shapes how I think about my marriage and engage in it. 

    Honestly, I find so much motivation by the fact that God woke me up today and that because He woke me up today, He has a plan for me. And if He has a plan for me, it's a good one because He is a good God. And if it's a good plan, I want to walk in it. So, I look for opportunities to make it matter. To be more intentional. More present. More thoughtful. I want my life to count for eternity. On earth as it is in heaven. In home as in heaven.  And while I am certain that I have missed opportunities in the past, and will miss some today, I am committed to keep showing up and seeking the God that gives life a lasting purpose. Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Friend, wherever you are, whatever your job is, whoever you are with, you can make it matter.  If you woke up, God has a plan for you, and if He has a plan, it's a good one, and if it's a good one, don't you want to live it?

Making it matter, 

Laura Jones