Idolagram

    Getting Instagram and Facebook out of my life for an entire year was one of the best decisions and I 100% recommend it to everyone. I know, I know, it's where I kept up with distant friends too. Yes, I totally missed out on wedding pictures and baby announcements and engagements. Yes, I also had to let go of the business I was running on it. I missed out on following good, Christian influencers and being encouraged by their pages. I didn’t see any birthday posts on my birthday. No one saw my kids' cuteness all year unless we were together. I didn't do a fourth baby pregnancy announcement. No one knew how God was teaching me and changing me. My circle of influence shrunk. I wasn't as seen. No one sent me likes. And it was so good and healthy and worth it and I think you should do it too!

    The excuses and reasons not to get off social media are SO REAL. And honestly it is beyond easy to talk yourself out of it. I know because I had contemplated it for far too long prior to last year, each time stacking up my pro-con list and weighing the cons a little heavier. Until I finally acknowledged how much it negatively impacted my time and connection with God- which really has more weight than anything on the list. I think it nearly impossible to "mind your own business and lead a quiet life" while simultaneously desiring to be seen and heard and liked by as many as possible. Until it was stripped away, I really had no idea how much of a hold these platforms had on my life or in the way I used it to find additional value and significance. When I deleted the apps and committed not to log in for the year, I thought it mostly a calling by God because of the amount of time I wasted on it and how it interfered with my relationship with Him and being present. And it was those things. But God showed me so much more than just that. 

    I thought being off insta would make me feel more lonely, less seen by others. I thought it would be kind of sad to not have people see the ways my kids were growing and the hilarious things they would do. I thought stuff we did or places we went might not matter as much. I dreaded being out of the know on everything going on in people's lives. I thought I would feel less significant. None of these things happened. My confidence, contentment, quality of relationships, presence, closeness with God, were all only strengthened last year. I dressed my kids in cute outfits or did fun crafts or went on fun adventures and no one knew about it and it in no way took away from what we did or how much fun we had doing it. I saw the superficiality of so much of what I thought was a gain through being on social media. The unlasting satisfaction of it all. 

    I also realized our (humans') obsession with being in the know of everyone's lives. We want to know. If there's drama or a breakup, we want to know. If there's a new baby or an engagement, even if we literally haven't spoken to this person in 10 years, we want to know. The people we admired in junior high, we want to see what their lives have become. The people we once disliked or judged, we want to see them now. We are obsessed with knowing. But knowing in a sense of just seeing, getting a glimpse via a photo or post. Not in seeking to know who they are. Not with the goal of meeting together and exchanging stories and building a real-ationship. Just in the picture stalking kinda knowing. I realized last year how little I really need to see into anyone's lives who I don't personally know. Because those I know, I saw, I met with, I talked to. I didn't need to see their latest announcement or pictures because I was living it with them. Or on the phone regularly if they were far. And my relationships were deepened and strengthened and more fulfilling because of it. I even connected with old friends in more personal ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. I was motivated to keep up with people personally not in a mass post hit-a-like-form. Most of the knowing on social media is superficial, but boy do we like it. And we like being "known" that way too. It's simple, non-committal, controllable, and gives a temporary feeling of being seen. Which is kind of like being known, but way less how God intended. 

    As I learn and see so much differently now, I have yet to log back into my instagram even though my "fast" ended 4 months ago. I have been praying through whether I will engage it again or just take what I want off it and delete it. For now, I am just staying off it, because even with all I have seen and learned, I know how quickly I can become addicted or find worth in it again. I think that is what it was designed to do, or at the very least how the enemy wants to use it. And I just don't want to give in. I keep thinking that it is a morally neutral tool though and that it can be used for good. And that people do use it for good. But for morally neutral, it is a battleground of temptation. Invitations to compare, judge, envy, think more highly of yourself, think less of yourself, seek comfort, waste time, and find identity. In the years of engaging, I cannot say using it has been a tool that led to more holiness or flourishing in my life personally, and in the last year I saw how letting it go did that. I am not confident I can successfully enter the battleground without continually falling prey. So I am continuing to seek God on it. Because there are also a lot of reasons it makes sense this day and age to have it. But at what expense? The idols of our day are unlikely to be golden calves or little statues, but we must be alert to the idols that beckon for our attention, devotion, and satisfaction. They are not worthy; only the true Eternal God is. 

    "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your mind and all your soul."

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Who Am I?

    I watched a video where a kid asked Kamala Harris, the current Vice President of the United States, the best advice her parents had ever given her. This was her response: "One of the most important pieces of advice that I can offer you guys, and I want you to really remember this: Never let anybody tell you who you are. You tell them who you are. Never let anybody suggest to you that you are what they think you should be. You tell them who you are and who you know you are and who you intend to be. You got that?"

    Thankfully my kids didn't hear that advice because this is 100% the opposite of everything I want to do as a parent. Left to ourselves, we do not know who we are. The purpose of a created thing is found in the one who created it. Imagine having no knowledge of what an iPhone is for and using it as a coaster on the coffee table. I mean sure, it could be used a coaster, albeit an expensive one, but that’s really missing out on the fullness of its capabilities or designated purpose. A kid needs to be told who they are, whose they are, and why they are. These are the questions God answers in His Word. I will never stop telling my kids that they are image bearers of their Creator. That they were created by God on purpose and for a purpose. That they are boys (for my sons) and girls (for my daughters) by design and that is good. I will tell them that they are sons and daughters of Jonathan Jones who is the son of Larry Jones (who is the son of Ken and Billie Jones) and Judy Jones (who is the daughter of Don and Janelle Kavanaugh). And that they are sons and daughters of Laura Jones who is the daughter of Mark Hemingway (son of Jess and Grace Hemingway) and Paula Hemingway (daughter of Paul and Carolyn Mott) and so forth. As children they will be given a secured identity not made up through looking within, soul searching or trial and error, but because they will be told exactly who they are in the context of who came generations before them as well as in the context of God's great big story that they get to play a part in simply by being His creation. 

    The message of "you do you" is rampant in today's culture, encouraging people to decide who they want to be and then told to let no one stand in their way. While this has been a message for a while now aimed at adults, it is increasingly taking ground towards children. “You don’t need parents- you do you. Don’t let your parents hinder you.” This has now led to the drastic degree of “if who you are is a boy, but you want to be a girl, you can and should be a girl.” The intentional push for confusion on kids today is evil and inevitably leads to devastating consequences as well as instability and insecurity. If who we are is based on how we feel, then we will truly never find ourselves because feelings shift on the daily. If who we are is based on the opinions of others, then our identity will ebb and flow rising and falling in confidence. If who we are is based on what we accomplish or on our career, then it is contingent on how we perform, again unsteady. The concept of "finding yourself", outside of God's Word or design, leads to lifelong identity crises and insecurity. A secure identity is rooted in that which is unchanging. Or rather, Who is unchanging. When your identity is rooted in Christ, you are secure, not because of who YOU are, but because of who HE is in you. 

    As our culture steps further away from a fear of God, there is only increasing confusion on identity, and it is my life's work and passion to give my kids a foundation that provides confidence and security in their God given identity. I want my kids to celebrate all that it means to be created a boy or a girl and to walk proudly in that. I want my kids to increase in their confidence that every detail of how they were designed, from physical appearance to personality to giftings was purposefully crafted by God for them to use to glorify Him and serve others in a unique way. This is where people thrive. This is the foundation that builds into living out exactly who we were meant to be. To tell kids to just figure it out- from their gender to their attraction to their purpose in life- by considering how they feel, looking within, and then deciding all they want to be is a foundation for endless searching and confusion that leads to an adulthood of the same. This is why God gave kiddos parents. To help them navigate and discover and celebrate all God made them to be in a way that leads to healthy flourishing as they grow. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

    Micaiah, Essie, Gracie, and Corby, God created every detail of you who are on purpose. He knit you together in my womb and then carefully delivered you into this world at just the right time. He has made you fearfully and wonderfully and He is worthy of all your praise. Each of you are God’s workmanship. You were created in Christ to do good works that God has specifically prepared for each of you. It is my greatest privilege as your Mommy to call out all I see God crafting in you and to celebrate exactly who He has made you to be as His sons and daughters. All you may seek in life is found fully in Him.

 

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones